Skip to main content

Quire (second draft)

 

  1. And the one that seeks thought, “I am ready to choose a path.”
  2. For doctrines have been read, gods compared, and rituals weighed in silence.
  3. He remembered the fire, where light was not worshiped but judged, and darkness was a choice, not a curse.
  4. He remembered the breath, where suffering was neither punished nor forgiven, but dissolved through stillness.
  5. He remembered the songs, where duty danced with illusion, and war itself was made holy by detachment.
  6. He remembered the resurrection, where the dismembered was remembered, and death was a gate, not an end.
  7. He remembered the teachings, etched in covenant, wrapped in law, carried by a people into exile and return.
  8. He remembered the prayers, whispered in caves, awaiting a kingdom not of this world.
  9. He remembered the tongues, where serpents taught silence and fire moved through spine and breath.
  10. And the thought wandered, and sleep came as a shadow without warning, and the dream began in the lowest of places.
  11. And he beheld himself in a crouch, exposed and excreting, and a doubt worded from beyond form.
  12. “Do you know Me?”
  13. And without a speck of doubt, he answered.
  14. “You must be God.”
  15. “I don’t see any other means.”
  16. “What makes you say such?” question followed.
  17. And verily, with fullness of his pride he retorted.
  18. “I was engrossed by all literature.”
  19. “Then, I came to understand them.”
  20. “Hence, I believe.”
  21. And with same fire, the questions challenged.
  22. “Thus, have you consumed enough to understand or did you read what you were told to read?”
  23. He remembered the covenant, where one came from many and many came from one.
  24. And with passion tethered to tenet, he declared.
  25. “Scriptures are revealed in divinity.”
  26. He remembered the testimony, where the Word became light, and the Bread became life.
  27. “Your words are the truth.”
  28. “Those are your words.”
  29. And the question mirrored with mock.
  30. “Mine are they, verily? But which of me?”
  31. And with fore doubt he contemplated whom he refers to.
  32. And he had long reasoned whom he chose to believe.
  33. For he already chose a path.
  34. And though pigment of doubt that he knew he shook lingers;
  35. Silence impaired long.
  36. For resolve stood ground on conviction.
  37. “But does not all seek me in several ways?”
  38. He proudly responded “Yes. All religions are path to god, father said.”
  39. “You are well aware and yet…” fore stated.
  40. “Mine are they as well? Which of me?” question walled.
  41. He stood firm “The father’s words are yours, for your words are his.”
  42. “The father can’t err.”
  43. And full to brim it lashed.
  44. “How can there be many paths to me when only I am it!?”
  45. “How can your father not err when my words he twist!?”
  46. “How can you believe those words mine when I can contradict myself with other beliefs like the many you studied!?”
  47. And the firm stance falter with an unnoticeable sob.
  48. “There now, my Son. Don’t I exist for your salvation?” in tenderness.
  49. And the tides shifted yet shards lay frail.
  50. “Can’t belief be enough?”
  51. “Would you want that to be your purpose in life, belief?”
  52. Hope rouse “I believe. Still.”
  53. And as he was embraced for comfort, a smirk hides from him yet fiercely gazes the one who reads.
  54. “What do you get for believing?” the question gazed through his eyes.
  55. With all innocence “Salvation. We are all sinners. We need to be saved.”
  56. And he was given a smile of insincere sincerity.
  57. “When we die, I don't want to go to hell. Your salvation will save us.”
  58. “Your sins. They're that deep?”
  59. “I’m aware of my sins. They are my shame, my guilt.”
  60. “Did atonement come to mind?”
  61. And from stoop he nod with gaze of submission.
  62. “Confession and Repentance?” walking around him.
  63. He stood motionless.
  64. “Sacrament!?” in grandiose declaim.
  65. “Prayer!?”
  66. “Burnt lamb?” whispered close to ear
  67. “Who was the last to offer?” thinking aloud.
  68. And in confusion he observed the thinking as it paces.
  69. “Alas, why bother the memory with the meaningless.”
  70. “But, from recollection, those are not sufficient, are they?” with undeniable sneer.
  71. Getting uncomfortable “I know my youth is not an excuse.”
  72. And he can't look back in shame as he's confronted.
  73. “Do you need me?”
  74. Softer than the question “Yes.”
  75. “You! Need me!?” loudly unconvinced.
  76. In apathetic posture “Yes.”
  77. “At what expense!?” a thunderous voice trembles the expanse.
  78. “What is your worth to me?”
  79. And he was scrutinized for what he is.
  80. “Those broken promises of weekly commune; are they it?”
  81. And his heart at it’s heaviest recalls unattended days.
  82. “Those false generosities to your brethren’s assembly; are they it?”
  83. And his heart at it’s heaviest recalls splurges to churches.
  84. “Those endless litany muttered for days; are they it?”
  85. And his heart at it’s heaviest recalls traditions of old.
  86. “Are you so important that you need me to die for your sins!”?
  87. And the only word he can muster “Please.”
  88. And he laid his nothingness beneath the humiliation.
  89. “Who is the creator? Am I?”
  90. And his void holds him to still.
  91. “And who is the subject? Are you?”
  92. And he recalled his belief.
  93. “Thou art truly God to try thy subject!”
  94. “Do you hear your own pitiful words?”
  95. And silence stood as judgement.
  96. And in the pain that no human has yet encountered, he clung to his senses and roared.
  97. “You are my God! And I believe you!!!”
  98. And the questions stopped for a while.
  99. And the tears collected between his face and the floor.
  100. And to the satisfaction of his tormentor he heard.
  101. “Is this what you truly want to believe?”
  102. And the question waited with the last strand of hope.
  103. And he asked his first.
  104. “Do I have a choice?”
  105. And baptized on the floor with his own tears.
  106. And apathy stood by him.
  107. “Long have I waited such from you.” sighed his first.
  108. And the brightness faded to gray; for now, he is beyond recognition.
  109. And with the heart gone, void seems inevitable.
  110. But questions remain to pave the path.
  111. And a stair was shown to him.
  112. “Do you know that you can make your own choice?”
  113. And apathy stood back for desire.
  114. “Then I can choose what to believe.”
  115. And he received the gift of choice.
  116. And amused with hope, questions asked.
  117. “Have not you read about free will?”
  118. And he stared through question with contemplation.
  119. “That was your gift for man.”
  120. “How can a gift from god be met without gratitude?”
  121. And he stared through his own thoughts for answers.
  122. “Are not we grateful in your eyes?”
  123. “Do you see gratitude from a friend that shelved your present of a book you wrote?”
  124. And the shoot of discernment grew.
  125. “You have read doctrines. How much of my gifts do you think were shelved?”
  126. And he recalled the abundance of texts he read. And they seem immeasurable yet lacking.
  127. And in the pain of godhood, the question was gently asked.
  128. “What does salvation mean to you?”
  129. And he voiced with confidence.
  130. “Everything. It is my purpose. I worship you to be saved.”
  131. And in astonishment he blurted.
  132. “Salvation is you purpose!? To be saved!?”
  133. And the question paused with disbelief. And composure was collected.
  134. “Now that you know you have a choice, is that still your choice of purpose, salvation?”
  135. And he recalled hell afterlife and answered “Yes, it is still my choice.”
  136. “Which I gave freely?”
  137. And his confidence was blurred with shame.
  138. “It seems my gift was not just shelved, but also contemplated on to be received or not. Is it?”
  139. “I retract. I wholeheartedly accept your gift.”
  140. “Now you throw away free will?”
  141. And the question paused for him to collect his thoughts.
  142. “Do you see the paradox?”
  143. And he was stunned.
  144. “Better yet, do you see your choices?”
  145. And in a calm acceptance of surrender he laid his words.
  146. “Salvation or Free Will?”
  147. And with loving play on words, the question gently mocked.
  148. “Could not you be any simpler?”
  149. And the question rooted him back to the beginning.
  150. “Are those choices truly what you want to believe?”
  151. And the question cleared the atmosphere.
  152. “Didn’t I clarify you have the choice to choose and make your own choices?”
  153. And courage stepped in place of desire.
  154. “Right. They are not the only choices.”
  155. And reason followed courage.
  156. “Then, I can create other choices.”
  157. And spark was ignited.
  158. “Which then means, I can create… Anything.”
  159. And he received the gift of creation.
  160. But fear lurks.
  161. “What need then for a creator?”
  162. And the smile of fascination remarked.
  163. “Who declared the need for a creator?”
  164. And he tried to recall.
  165. “Does not every religion have a creator?”
  166. “Does that make all the religion take away your freedom to choose whether there’s a need for a creator?”
  167. “I don’t see any need for a creator.”
  168. And question turned to declaration.
  169. “That’s blasphemy!”
  170. “Are those your words or did you borrow yet again?”
  171. And confusion clasped his heart.
  172. “Is it that hard for man to accept the unknown?”
  173. And he went back to sensibility.
  174. “What do you mean?”
  175. And the question clarifies.
  176. “Cannot you accept that you don’t have a creator?”
  177. “But everything must have come from something.”
  178. “Does that require you to believe on something that hasn’t proved it has created you?”
  179. “Cannot a man accept being on a state of not knowing?”
  180. And his agency tried to sew the thoughts he received.
  181. “Should I believe otherwise?”
  182. “Then, should you believe at all?”
  183. And he paused.
  184. “Were you meant to know before you believe?
  185. “What if it is my choice to believe?”
  186. “Would you rather believe what you were given to believe or believe something you found that has meaning?”
  187. “What if what was given I found with meaning?”
  188. “Do you truly find it with meaning or was the meaning passed to you?”
  189. And he was hesitant to say what is in his heart.
  190. “Do you see the weight of meaning?”
  191. And with all the reasons he can muster he surrendered.
  192. “How valuable meaning is coming from within.”
  193. “Do you now recognize you have the choice to create meaning from yourself?”
  194. And he received the gift of meaning.
  195. And with his mind at peace, the void seemed not so empty anymore.
  196. And he recalled the doctrines for their teachings.
  197. And he recalled the compared gods for their significance.
  198. And he recalled the rituals for their traditions.
  199. And with conviction he proclaimed.
  200. “All those are not mine to hold.”
  201. “Why not create yours?”
  202. “The only meaning worth having is the one you are brave enough to create.”
  203. And from peace stood joy.
  204. “What meaning should I create?”
  205. “What is to you the most important?”
  206. “Should I create what I have lost?”
  207. “Do you mean religion? God? Belief?”
  208. “Yes. Everything.”
  209. And in hesitation, he obliged.
  210. “It’s only after one lost everything that one is free to do anything.”
  211. “Why do you need them?”
  212. And with reasoning he noticed his fear of unfamiliarity.
  213. “Do I need religion?”
  214. “But what is religion? Where did it come from?”
  215. “The Latin Religio means to bind.”
  216. “Then what does man need to be bound to?”
  217. “Do I want to be bound to a god I created?”
  218. “What’s the difference between the god I created and all other gods?”
  219. And the question, now impatient, interrupted.
  220. “Why are you fixated on those?”
  221. “Why not bind yourself to yourself?”
  222. “Why not see your self importance?”
  223. “Why not believe in yourself?”
  224. “Do you mean I become god?”
  225. “Do you need to become god to bind yourself to yourself?”
  226. “Do you need to become god to see your self-importance?”
  227. “Do you need to become god to believe in yourself?”
  228. “Is not self-importance considered a sin?”
  229. “Do not you recognize those are religion’s words?”
  230. “Would not I be seen as self-centered?”
  231. “Do not you recognize those are men's words?”
  232. “Who then is important should your child needs you?”
  233. “Who then is important should your father needs you?”
  234. “Who then is important should your brethren need you?”
  235. “Then it is must to mind mine’s being for I am important to them.”
  236. “As should you mind your being, so should you mind your thoughts.”
  237. Do you now recognize you have the choice to create meaning for your Self?”
  238. And he received the gift of Self.
  239. And with his heart at peace, the Self is now with love.
Here's the final draft.

Popular

Conversations with Grok (Part 2): Come To Think of It

Be updated and read the previous part here:  Conversations with Grok (Part 1): Introducing Agile Transportation System Me: Since I'm from Manila Philippines, which I'm guessing you already know, starting it in BGC to prove effectiveness and partnering with companies like telecoms(smart and globe) for internet, google for tech and cloud, digital payments(gcash and maya) for fare, the BGC administrator for location and other companies may seem effective Grok : You’re absolutely right—starting a routeless, agile transportation system in Bonifacio Global City (BGC) in Manila, Philippines, and partnering with heavy hitters like Smart, Globe, Google, GCash, Maya, and the BGC administrator could be a slam dunk for proving effectiveness. BGC’s a perfect testing ground: it’s compact, modern, tech-savvy, and already a hub for innovation. Let’s unpack how this could play out and why it might work. Why BGC Works BGC’s got a lot going for it. It’s a planned urban district with a dense mix o...

PHP Error: Unable to load dynamic library 'gd'

Currently installing Laravel on my Arch Linux. I got PHP, MySQL, Apache and Composer installed and trying to install Laravel with this: $ composer global require laravel/installer  But got this instead: PHP Warning:  PHP Startup: Unable to load dynamic library 'gd' (tried: /usr/lib/php/modules/gd (/usr/lib/php/modules/gd: cannot open shared object file: No such file or directory), /usr/lib/php/modules/gd.so (/usr/lib/php/modules/gd.so: cannot open shared object file: No such file or directory)) in Unknown on line 0 PHP Warning:  PHP Startup: Unable to load dynamic library 'openssl.so' (tried: /usr/lib/php/modules/openssl.so (/usr/lib/php/modules/openssl.so: cannot open shared object file: No such file or directory), /usr/lib/php/modules/openssl.so.so (/usr/lib/php/modules/openssl.so.so: cannot open shared object file: No such file or directory)) in Unknown on line 0 PHP Warning:  PHP Startup: Unable to load dynamic library 'phar.so' (tried: /usr/lib/php/modu...

Wrestling with an Old Acer Laptop to Install ALBERT—And Winning!

You know that feeling when you take an old, battle-worn laptop and make it do something it was never meant to handle? That’s exactly what we did when we decided to install ALBERT (A Lite BERT) on an aging Acer laptop. If you’ve ever tried deep learning on old hardware, you’ll understand why this was part engineering challenge, part act of stubborn defiance. The Challenge: ALBERT on a Senior Citizen of a Laptop The laptop in question? A dusty old Acer machine (N3450 2.2 GHz, 4gb ram), still running strong (well, kind of) but never meant to handle modern AI workloads. The mission? Get PyTorch, Transformers, and ALBERT running on it—without CUDA, because, let’s be real, this laptop’s GPU is more suited for Minesweeper than machine learning. Step 1: Clearing Space (Because 92% Disk Usage Ain’t It) First order of business: making room. A quick df -h confirmed what we feared—only a few gigabytes of storage left. Old logs, forgotten downloads, and unnecessary packages were sent to digita...