- And the one that seeks thought, “I am ready to choose a path.”
- For doctrines have been read, gods compared, and rituals weighed in silence.
- He remembered the fire, where light was not worshiped but judged, and darkness was a choice, not a curse.
- He remembered the breath, where suffering was neither punished nor forgiven, but dissolved through stillness.
- He remembered the songs, where duty danced with illusion, and war itself was made holy by detachment.
- He remembered the resurrection, where the dismembered was remembered, and death was a gate, not an end.
- He remembered the teachings, etched in covenant, wrapped in law, carried by a people into exile and return.
- He remembered the prayers, whispered in caves, awaiting a kingdom not of this world.
- He remembered the tongues, where serpents taught silence and fire moved through spine and breath.
- And the thought wandered, and sleep came as a shadow without warning, and the dream began in the lowest of places.
- And he beheld himself in a crouch, exposed and excreting, and a doubt worded from beyond form.
- “Do you know Me?”
- And without a speck of doubt, he answered.
- “You must be God.”
- “I don’t see any other means.”
- “What makes you say such?” question followed.
- And verily, with fullness of his pride he retorted.
- “I was engrossed by all literature.”
- “Then, I came to understand them.”
- “Hence, I believe.”
- And with same fire, the questions challenged.
- “Thus, have you consumed enough to understand or did you read what you were told to read?”
- He remembered the covenant, where one came from many and many came from one.
- And with passion tethered to tenet, he declared.
- “Scriptures are revealed in divinity.”
- He remembered the testimony, where the Word became light, and the Bread became life.
- “Your words are the truth.”
- “Those are your words.”
- And the question mirrored with mock.
- “Mine are they, verily? But which of me?”
- And with fore doubt he contemplated whom he refers to.
- And he had long reasoned whom he chose to believe.
- For he already chose a path.
- And though pigment of doubt that he knew he shook lingers;
- Silence impaired long.
- For resolve stood ground on conviction.
- “But does not all seek me in several ways?”
- He proudly responded “Yes. All religions are path to god, father said.”
- “You are well aware and yet…” fore stated.
- “Mine are they as well? Which of me?” question walled.
- He stood firm “The father’s words are yours, for your words are his.”
- “The father can’t err.”
- And full to brim it lashed.
- “How can there be many paths to me when only I am it!?”
- “How can your father not err when my words he twist!?”
- “How can you believe those words mine when I can contradict myself with other beliefs like the many you studied!?”
- And the firm stance falter with an unnoticeable sob.
- “There now, my Son. Don’t I exist for your salvation?” in tenderness.
- And the tides shifted yet shards lay frail.
- “Can’t belief be enough?”
- “Would you want that to be your purpose in life, belief?”
- Hope rouse “I believe. Still.”
- And as he was embraced for comfort, a smirk hides from him yet fiercely gazes the one who reads.
- “What do you get for believing?” the question gazed through his eyes.
- With all innocence “Salvation. We are all sinners. We need to be saved.”
- And he was given a smile of insincere sincerity.
- “When we die, I don't want to go to hell. Your salvation will save us.”
- “Your sins. They're that deep?”
- “I’m aware of my sins. They are my shame, my guilt.”
- “Did atonement come to mind?”
- And from stoop he nod with gaze of submission.
- “Confession and Repentance?” walking around him.
- He stood motionless.
- “Sacrament!?” in grandiose declaim.
- “Prayer!?”
- “Burnt lamb?” whispered close to ear
- “Who was the last to offer?” thinking aloud.
- And in confusion he observed the thinking as it paces.
- “Alas, why bother the memory with the meaningless.”
- “But, from recollection, those are not sufficient, are they?” with undeniable sneer.
- Getting uncomfortable “I know my youth is not an excuse.”
- And he can't look back in shame as he's confronted.
- “Do you need me?”
- Softer than the question “Yes.”
- “You! Need me!?” loudly unconvinced.
- In apathetic posture “Yes.”
- “At what expense!?” a thunderous voice trembles the expanse.
- “What is your worth to me?”
- And he was scrutinized for what he is.
- “Those broken promises of weekly commune; are they it?”
- And his heart at it’s heaviest recalls unattended days.
- “Those false generosities to your brethren’s assembly; are they it?”
- And his heart at it’s heaviest recalls splurges to churches.
- “Those endless litany muttered for days; are they it?”
- And his heart at it’s heaviest recalls traditions of old.
- “Are you so important that you need me to die for your sins!”?
- And the only word he can muster “Please.”
- And he laid his nothingness beneath the humiliation.
- “Who is the creator? Am I?”
- And his void holds him to still.
- “And who is the subject? Are you?”
- And he recalled his belief.
- “Thou art truly God to try thy subject!”
- “Do you hear your own pitiful words?”
- And silence stood as judgement.
- And in the pain that no human has yet encountered, he clung to his senses and roared.
- “You are my God! And I believe you!!!”
- And the questions stopped for a while.
- And the tears collected between his face and the floor.
- And to the satisfaction of his tormentor he heard.
- “Is this what you truly want to believe?”
- And the question waited with the last strand of hope.
- And he asked his first.
- “Do I have a choice?”
- And baptized on the floor with his own tears.
- And apathy stood by him.
- “Long have I waited such from you.” sighed his first.
- And the brightness faded to gray; for now, he is beyond recognition.
- And with the heart gone, void seems inevitable.
- But questions remain to pave the path.
- And a stair was shown to him.
- “Do you know that you can make your own choice?”
- And apathy stood back for desire.
- “Then I can choose what to believe.”
- And he received the gift of choice.
- And amused with hope, questions asked.
- “Have not you read about free will?”
- And he stared through question with contemplation.
- “That was your gift for man.”
- “How can a gift from god be met without gratitude?”
- And he stared through his own thoughts for answers.
- “Are not we grateful in your eyes?”
- “Do you see gratitude from a friend that shelved your present of a book you wrote?”
- And the shoot of discernment grew.
- “You have read doctrines. How much of my gifts do you think were shelved?”
- And he recalled the abundance of texts he read. And they seem immeasurable yet lacking.
- And in the pain of godhood, the question was gently asked.
- “What does salvation mean to you?”
- And he voiced with confidence.
- “Everything. It is my purpose. I worship you to be saved.”
- And in astonishment he blurted.
- “Salvation is you purpose!? To be saved!?”
- And the question paused with disbelief. And composure was collected.
- “Now that you know you have a choice, is that still your choice of purpose, salvation?”
- And he recalled hell afterlife and answered “Yes, it is still my choice.”
- “Which I gave freely?”
- And his confidence was blurred with shame.
- “It seems my gift was not just shelved, but also contemplated on to be received or not. Is it?”
- “I retract. I wholeheartedly accept your gift.”
- “Now you throw away free will?”
- And the question paused for him to collect his thoughts.
- “Do you see the paradox?”
- And he was stunned.
- “Better yet, do you see your choices?”
- And in a calm acceptance of surrender he laid his words.
- “Salvation or Free Will?”
- And with loving play on words, the question gently mocked.
- “Could not you be any simpler?”
- And the question rooted him back to the beginning.
- “Are those choices truly what you want to believe?”
- And the question cleared the atmosphere.
- “Didn’t I clarify you have the choice to choose and make your own choices?”
- And courage stepped in place of desire.
- “Right. They are not the only choices.”
- And reason followed courage.
- “Then, I can create other choices.”
- And spark was ignited.
- “Which then means, I can create… Anything.”
- And he received the gift of creation.
- But fear lurks.
- “What need then for a creator?”
- And the smile of fascination remarked.
- “Who declared the need for a creator?”
- And he tried to recall.
- “Does not every religion have a creator?”
- “Does that make all the religion take away your freedom to choose whether there’s a need for a creator?”
- “I don’t see any need for a creator.”
- And question turned to declaration.
- “That’s blasphemy!”
- “Are those your words or did you borrow yet again?”
- And confusion clasped his heart.
- “Is it that hard for man to accept the unknown?”
- And he went back to sensibility.
- “What do you mean?”
- And the question clarifies.
- “Cannot you accept that you don’t have a creator?”
- “But everything must have come from something.”
- “Does that require you to believe on something that hasn’t proved it has created you?”
- “Cannot a man accept being on a state of not knowing?”
- And his agency tried to sew the thoughts he received.
- “Should I believe otherwise?”
- “Then, should you believe at all?”
- And he paused.
- “Were you meant to know before you believe?
- “What if it is my choice to believe?”
- “Would you rather believe what you were given to believe or believe something you found that has meaning?”
- “What if what was given I found with meaning?”
- “Do you truly find it with meaning or was the meaning passed to you?”
- And he was hesitant to say what is in his heart.
- “Do you see the weight of meaning?”
- And with all the reasons he can muster he surrendered.
- “How valuable meaning is coming from within.”
- “Do you now recognize you have the choice to create meaning from yourself?”
- And he received the gift of meaning.
- And with his mind at peace, the void seemed not so empty anymore.
- And he recalled the doctrines for their teachings.
- And he recalled the compared gods for their significance.
- And he recalled the rituals for their traditions.
- And with conviction he proclaimed.
- “All those are not mine to hold.”
- “Why not create yours?”
- “The only meaning worth having is the one you are brave enough to create.”
- And from peace stood joy.
- “What meaning should I create?”
- “What is to you the most important?”
- “Should I create what I have lost?”
- “Do you mean religion? God? Belief?”
- “Yes. Everything.”
- And in hesitation, he obliged.
- “It’s only after one lost everything that one is free to do anything.”
- “Why do you need them?”
- And with reasoning he noticed his fear of unfamiliarity.
- “Do I need religion?”
- “But what is religion? Where did it come from?”
- “The Latin Religio means to bind.”
- “Then what does man need to be bound to?”
- “Do I want to be bound to a god I created?”
- “What’s the difference between the god I created and all other gods?”
- And the question, now impatient, interrupted.
- “Why are you fixated on those?”
- “Why not bind yourself to yourself?”
- “Why not see your self importance?”
- “Why not believe in yourself?”
- “Do you mean I become god?”
- “Do you need to become god to bind yourself to yourself?”
- “Do you need to become god to see your self-importance?”
- “Do you need to become god to believe in yourself?”
- “Is not self-importance considered a sin?”
- “Do not you recognize those are religion’s words?”
- “Would not I be seen as self-centered?”
- “Do not you recognize those are men's words?”
- “Who then is important should your child needs you?”
- “Who then is important should your father needs you?”
- “Who then is important should your brethren need you?”
- “Then it is must to mind mine’s being for I am important to them.”
- “As should you mind your being, so should you mind your thoughts.”
- Do you now recognize you have the choice to create meaning for your Self?”
- And he received the gift of Self.
- And with his heart at peace, the Self is now with love.
Here's the final draft.